I went for a Mindfulness Walk today.
The forecast was strong winds, rain and high tides. I went to the beach.
It was exhilarating. I could see people huddled in their rain drenched cars looking outside, as I was outside looking in.
I was in touch with my senses and my body, as the rain lashed and stung my hands and my legs.
My body was buffeted around with the wind, and I walked like a drunk. There was contrast. The showers came and went, and now and again the wind dropped completely.
I related this to the ebb and flow of life. Tricky bits and good bits. It’s what we focus on that matters.
I remember how I came, to overcome depression. I stopped fighting it, resisting it, and allowed it to be. I got to know it more deeply/better/well. As I got to know it, I could see it came and went. And it definitely wasn’t as strong or long as when I was resisting it. When it had enveloped me and infiltrated all places.
As a metaphor, I see it as a stranger banging at the door, shouting demands to come in. When I opened the door and let the stranger in. Stony silence. Another visit, tea and cake this time, again silence. As I accepted the visits, an understanding conversation started up. Now the stranger knocks politely. He has changed because I have. We are starting to get to know each other.
In time he calls just as a visitor would, sometimes with less positive news, but now more often with good news. I can call him my friend. He helped me get to know myself. He helped me bring space into my life for the good things to flow in. He is always available, mostly for a chat, maybe a day’s wallow, but no longer a permanent feature.
I found truth in the saying ‘What you resist persists’ I was so energy zapped, consumed with running away. Yet when I stood still and took stock, and I become aware of what I didn’t want it is easier to find what I did want.
Releasing the ties of the past, I now see that making mistakes is giving me a gift. A guiding gift to be better at what I do. Now it is possible to make a friend of ‘doing wrong’ as a pathway to improving. Phew that’s a big step forward.
Also understanding the value of mistakes helps me to be a more allowing person, less judgemental, as I surrendered and gave up the ‘fighting against’.
How about you?
What gifts might surrender bring you?
What will you do with those gifts moving forward?